If I seem a little distant or incoherent, it's because I am. I am not a NeuroTypical and I have no desire to become one. This is simply the area in which I stim my creative impulses. (WARNING: All entries are either ENTIRELY TRUE or ENTIRELY FALSE and anything claiming to be one of the latter is, in fact, one of the former. There are no exceptions to this rule.)

 
bewildered
bleary eyed confessions
confessing more than I care
to even know
about quote love unquote

I have cast aspersions
(sounds close, doesn't it?)
posted by Sinister at 11:26 PM

 
pnambic numbness
juxtapoetically inclined
and equally remiss
self-deprecated to the point of
pnambic numbness
posted by Sinister at 11:12 PM

 
release me from
this hold
the cold hands clutch me
crutch to me

you are far to beautiful
when you do nothing
so do nothing
please
posted by Sinister at 3:12 AM

 
When she to whom a person speaks
of temerity and doubt
can understand the simple art
of courtesy...

well, suddenly I don't feel so bad.
I guess that's sad to hear me say,
but I don't want to be exposed anymore.

New phase, low on time,
high desire, think think think
a couple more drinks, I think
I think, could spell "disaster"...

or "sars edit" or something equally trite
(worse: banal) I hope a quote will save me from
my madness

"Perhaps, moreover, he whose genius appears deepest and truest excels his fellows in nothing save the knack of expression; he throws out occasionally a lucky hint at truths of which every human soul is profoundly though unutterably conscious."   -- Nathaniel Hawthorne

no... that mostly
just sums it right up.

escapism
come on
escapism
posted by Sinister at 2:50 AM

 
{
"O love it is the commonknounest thing" -- Finnegan's Wake, James Joyce
}

;(I felt it a little pretentious to post this amongst my drivel.)
posted by Sinister at 12:20 AM

 
Sad song with an honest yarn
common theme of a boy and a girl
lost in this world
where fairy tales of nevernever land
nevernever land
posted by Sinister at 12:19 AM

 
crawling into bed listening to nostalgia... making an early night out of nothing.... i'm so easily haunted by your smell... my body remembers the texture of your hands... my fingers to your skin... and i know each thread of these sheets... i don't believe in missing people... especially people like you
posted by Sinister at 12:07 AM

 
fractals are the balance... perfectly abstruse and, operationally, the zeitgeist of our age... the world of the stochastic made rational and put into the form of something that is, at its very core, nothing more than a mathematical representation of that endless recursive thought monologue that we all have running in our heads which force us to think beyond what we know.

The lowest levels are the phenomenon. The highest levels are the concepts and conceptual mappings. The levels inbetween are fractal in mapping and no one level exists outside any other -- as in the sciences (physics maps both the highest and lowest levels with chemistry, biology, etc. inbetween... each distinct in its own right, but not without its overlap on either side by the high or low level physical process.)

(The Tao?)
posted by Sinister at 1:19 AM

 
there is no satisfaction
but a kind soul, long departed,
offers discourse, respite, and a smile a day.

there is no hope
but delayed suicide, long delayed,
offers discourse, respite, and a trial a day.

I miss the summer of yesteryear
and all the smiles and long kisses
posted by Sinister at 2:38 PM

 
yes, I saw you online today... for a moment

a brief respite from your life of reclusion and distance
but you didn't have the guts to talk to me
just unblock me and hope

it makes me sick
posted by Sinister at 10:27 AM

 
I can't see the love in your eyes
as the love drips down your thighs...
posted by Sinister at 2:56 PM

 
I have been at a loss of words for the past few weeks. I apoloigize if this has in any way upset anyone who frequents (or fewquents?) this sad attempt at some expression of the frustration borne of living in a world like this one.

I want out, and I suppose as a consequence I have been thinking in strange new conceptual models...

I have made some surprising headway in superstring theory using, what I like to call, multidimensional overtones -- a term coined by yours truly. I was a little confused by the isomorphism implied by the use of string, but I now realize that 3-dimensional thoughts and ideas have no place in quantum mechanics.

(yes, I am reverting to my "intellecual" self now that my love has retreated for this, the next, last time.)

I wish I had someone to talk to about this stuff; it's really fascinating...
posted by Sinister at 5:32 PM

 
"When you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that you have not the slightest intention of carrying it out in practice."
-- Otto Von Bismarck
posted by Sinister at 11:18 AM

 
When the revolution comes, there will be no winners... only survivors.
posted by Sinister at 10:34 AM

 
No matter how much sleep you get, you never quite feel rested.

I know.
posted by Sinister at 7:58 AM

 
It was the nervous sound of someone tapping his shoe on the pavement. *Ring*... *Ring* ... "Hello?"

He smiled a smile that only his best friend would recognize, but that was quite imperceptable over the telephone. Before he could speak (what a time for a stutter, sputter and hesitation [oh my!]), he heard a loud sigh and an abrubpt *click*.

The smile felt hollow to him, a dance of scaffolding unfolding in a zen garden's simulation of the second law of thermodynamics.

I wonder if she still thinks of me, he thought. Just as soon as the thought entered his mind, he realized that it is now his time to shine -- to be free of all constraints and allowed to fill himself completely. I hope she doesn't still think of me.
posted by Sinister at 11:32 PM

 
I smelled you today. It was the sweet smell you gave off after sex and I'm not sure what created that unique and intoxicating (though surprisingly relaxing) air. I opened my eyes and stared longingly at the pillow next to me, knowing that you'd never come back. I inhaled deeply and the scent burned every nerve on the way down. A tear formed, though I know not whether it was for you or for me.

I keep finding your hair pins. I found one in my bed the other day and one in my pocket yesterday. It's funny, my hair is still longer than yours. I guess I miss you is what I need to say... want to say, at any rate...

I miss you.
posted by Sinister at 8:11 AM