aspie ranting |
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If I seem a little distant or incoherent, it's because I am. I am not a NeuroTypical and I have no desire to become one. This is simply the area in which I stim my creative impulses. (WARNING: All entries are either ENTIRELY TRUE or ENTIRELY FALSE and anything claiming to be one of the latter is, in fact, one of the former. There are no exceptions to this rule.) comments, marriage proposals, and death threats can be sent here 
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Saturday, August 30, 2003
Monday, August 25, 2003
Saturday, August 23, 2003
Wednesday, August 20, 2003
Tuesday, August 19, 2003
nothing in this life lasts forever and a hundred empty promises won't change the nature of redemption no lines no smiles no forgotten lines antipathic pugnacity distance amounts to little but the ease of dispositions and the die has been cast we are crossing the Rubicon finally nothing can turn me back now this is my true Love. Monday, August 18, 2003
I'm sure I could be at once happier, but I don't know how anymore you've shown me Love and I will... forever. Friday, August 15, 2003
Thursday, August 14, 2003
Tuesday, August 12, 2003
Monday, August 11, 2003
"Consider the odds, Consider the obvious. The martyr is meaningless, The campaign has died. In the planning stages and the fallen faces Are the singular proof that it was ever alive. This purchased rebellion has been outdated, Denounced and rescinded and left to die championless. I begged you not to go. I begged you, I pleaded. Claimed you as my only hope And watched the floor as you retreated. Hope has sprung a perfect dive A perfect day, a perfect lie. A slowly crafted monologue conceding your defeat. Does it comfort you to know you fought the good fight? Basking in your victory, Hollow and alone To boast your bitter bragging rights to anyone who'll listen. While you're left with nothing tangible to gain." -- The Good Fight, by Dashboard Confessional Sunday, August 10, 2003
yeah... so you wanna play a fucking "who can hurt whom the most game"? play with some fucking ammunition, why don't you? It's on now... Saturday, August 09, 2003
the thing I realized is that you're not afraid that you're like everyone else... you're afraid that you're not like everyone else. I can't compete with that. Friday, August 08, 2003
I am not strong enough to stop you if you take it there again... my will is all but null where you're involved. the inevitibility of a causal loop casts catastrophic hues and blues become greens with shades of hazelnut forgotten by nightfall sweey snacutary of serendipity caught by the subtle but overwhelming pull of the inevitibility of a causal loop... still silence speaking whispers about every broken promise every slight of hand it's out of hand now the only way we can stay in eachother's lives is our favourite conversation caught in silent pleas for something, anything to just happen no harm done, no risks taken nothing to gain nothing to feign it's airbrushed designer standard deviation... Tuesday, August 05, 2003
nothing has changed... not all change is bad, but what's the worst that could happen? What, we could lose the friendship? Well, yeah, but what takes its place could be just what we've needed this entire time... What, we could fall in Love? Too fucking late on that one... What, we could finally do what has felt so natural for years and do so without hesitation? What the fuck are we waiting for? What, we might actually be happy? Heaven forbid! What, we could lose eachother again? Well, look how well we've done that every time... and so what if we do? Then you might finally get that fucking closure I hear is so fucking wonderful... sorry, I don't buy it; I know when you lose control, and I know that you saw something you were deathly afraid of... nothing will change... not until we embrace it. Monday, August 04, 2003
I really do wish that we could stop the games... I really do Love you... I really do. I wish timing was better and that we could get past all the BS... but we obviously can't. And you can't even be honest with me about your feelings, that's what hurts... Saturday, August 02, 2003
I fried my brain smoking klingon strange with Worf and Boba Fett Engage in danger room sequence forty eight sparrin' in holodecks [me] see, here's the deal: There once was a girl who stole my mind and heart and of all the things she stole from me, this was just the start she lead me to believe that she wanted a whole lot more but all she was looking for was an ever easy score she knew I'd always listen and that I always knew what to say but before the night was over, she'd destroy me in every way disappointment began to set in and destroy me like malaria when she left and planned to stay away from every single area I inhabit cuz she seems to think it's all a game asbestos moth, though I'm never safe from the flame I've gotta wonder why I feel like I'm fallin' from the sky when every person watching seems to want to know this fall guy I suffer from superstitions, paranoid intuitions but your paranoia has always been an attack on my social fiction Living life in the fast lane losing control of velocity A bratty little girl sees you as role model-what an atrocity [her] speaking as though we could simply manufacture lightning and the future of this is always so very frightening I'm not a super hero, but you're my kryptonite I can't even hide in phone booths to avoid your glowing green light Livin' a vampire's life Reality Bites and blood sucks 'Til your zombie-like and you just don't give a fuck see I won't lie, I'll even rub it in your face I've been sleeping around like it's a fucking race I roam comatose in a carcass used as a mobile sperm bank but I'll stab you in the back like Stalin's henchmen did in his flank because hurting you is like an all time fuckin' favorite hit you like a jaded 007, the supreme secret agent I'd exhale the smoke from a molotov cocktail before I'd admit that I get high from this male so I hope you get the basics and the simplified crux cuz you got about 10 seconds until this track self-destructs [me] I'll just have to defuse the situation with a little mental program I'll just have to speak in tongues and hide for a bit to concoct my next plan and all the while I'm slowly going down the stairway to heaven like a slinky, hellbound I'm lost in a spiral defeated fetal position A train of thought with an altered course headed right for a fatal collision now I'ma break it down just to tell a little story so here's the starting line, no specific category all I'd have to do was look deep in her jewelled eyes while she infected me with her venom, but of course that's no surprise she wraped me up and I was always far too willing so her loving conquest was never quite that filling she's always been hunting the penultimate high because she knows #1 will always reside in this guy but Three's ain't no company, it's a motherfuckin' crowd because whenever anyone else is around she loves to hurt me loud then she plays out this little empirical dream by running off to drugs and hitting the wall with a scream saying I want you to live life, but I don't care if you die I want you to laugh, but I want you to cry so now I'm on my way with heavy heart and mind and I'll impart this wisdom in an attempt to be kind cuz neither greed, nor envy, nor hate will ever do so fuck the game, don't let the game fuck you Friday, August 01, 2003
in my hideous habit of posting all too apt song lyrics: "It's time to say a word say it like you mean it he spoke with his song of hearts as my eyes hold back hoping for the end one too many condensending battles for a friend say another word and I'll sit on the floor keep talking down to me you're not only losing me you're losing what's in store I'll try to stay awake when I go when I get home I'll try to stay awake over the phone so I can tell the truth tell the truth something keeps on getting in the way between you and I on summer holiday yeah just wait one minute more cause my heart is halfway torn and you're already gone and you're already gone I'll try to stay awake (so I can tell you) when I go when I get home I'll try to stay awake (so I can tell you) over the phone so I can tell the truth say another word face first on the floor keep talking down to me losing what was almost meant to be I'll try to stay awake (so I can tell you) when I go when I get home I'll try to stay awake (so I can tell you) over the phone so I can tell the truth" -- Almost There, Going Nowhere by Starting Line (yeah... I'm fucking frustrated and I'm not dealing with it all that well...) let her not pass me by, angel in sheeps clothing, for her footsteps leave echoes of silence and dreams of what might be and could still be |
faeries have died because YOU haven't been clapping hard enough.